If I was attacked by a monster, I would
throw children & the elderly at it.
kick him in the ding ding
shit
summon ROBERT SMEEETH to save me.
soothe it with harpcore music.
thank god for spiting me in such an awesome way.
call it ugly.
realize it was a dream, and give it a bikini.
poke him in the eye and if possible grab his tail